How do you keep a long-distance relationship going? So many of us choose to be involved with someone who lives out of state, but how many of us are really willing to make all of the sacrifices that are needed to make and keep the relationship healthy. Certainly not with those “slip-up”, when you “accidently” make your way into someone else’s bed because yours seems too lonely! You have to have communication, trust, a willingness to commit, and a lot of patience. Here are 5 secrets to having (and keeping) a long distance relationship on the right track, at least until you are together for good!
1- Be clear about expectations up front
Don't wing it; plan ahead. According to Dr. Greg Guldner, director of the Center for the Study of Long-Distance Relationships and author of Long Distance Relationships: The Complete Guide, the difference between LDR couples who make it and ones who don't can be summed up in two words: ground rules. Dr. Guldner explains that nearly 70% of LDR couples who didn't anticipate changes -- or talk through their game plan for dealing with them -- broke up within six months. The most important point, of course, is, are we monogamous?
2- Express yourself
Even couples sharing the same zip code frequently have trouble telling each other how they feel. So imagine how much harder it is for lovers who can't use the power of touch to stay connected. Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages for Singles, says, "It's important to figure out how to make your long-distance partner feel cherished. This can be done with words. For example, 'If I were with you, I'd give you a big kiss.'" The relationship expert adds, "Share the day-to-day events going on in each other's lives. This is all geared to staying so close that when you do get together you won't have that awkward transition period where you feel like strangers."
3- Enjoy your independence
Until their wedding in 1999, Casey and Rob Amberg lived in different states; she lived in Arkansas, while he was in Missouri (where they now live together with their 2-year-old daughter). Casey, 29, says their relationship thrived despite the distance, partly because they retained their independence. "Being apart was hard, but it enabled us to continue growing as individuals while still remaining a couple. It was almost an empowering feeling to go out with friends and still feel committed in a relationship."
4- Spice up the long-distance lovin'
Sure, sex is best when you're in the same room, and the happiest LDR couples strive to be together as often as possible. However, there are ways to keep the fires flaming from a distance. Creativity is key. That's why Rob Frankel created www.pillowmail.com, a site where you can instantly compose and e-mail each other erotic fantasies customized with your own dirty details.
5- Keep the faith
Yes, it's rough being apart, but harping on the negative can take a toll on the relationship. Dating coach Masini suggests, "Instead of moaning that you never see each other, talk about the interesting things you've been doing and ask what he's up to." This will help in two ways: He won't think you're obsessed with the relationship, and you won't be obsessed. The happier you act with your life, the happier you'll actually feel.
Shout out to Duncan Hines, who put on a fabulous fashion show and All Black Party at Stir Nightclub on Saturday November 8, we were so honored to be his personal guests! View his personal collection at http://www.carolinapromotor.com/! http://www.stirnc.com/
Be Seen or Be Forgotten
We know how you love to see pictures of yourself online and we do too! Now we have a feature every week on the hottest pictures that we take while we are out being the fashionistas that we are…so DON’T ever get caught out there looking a mess…because we will put you on blast!!
CALLING ALL PROMOTERS!
Don’t you want your party pics to be featured on our blog!!! And let us Blog your event right here? Email us at professionalswagga.com for more information.
1- Be clear about expectations up front
Don't wing it; plan ahead. According to Dr. Greg Guldner, director of the Center for the Study of Long-Distance Relationships and author of Long Distance Relationships: The Complete Guide, the difference between LDR couples who make it and ones who don't can be summed up in two words: ground rules. Dr. Guldner explains that nearly 70% of LDR couples who didn't anticipate changes -- or talk through their game plan for dealing with them -- broke up within six months. The most important point, of course, is, are we monogamous?
2- Express yourself
Even couples sharing the same zip code frequently have trouble telling each other how they feel. So imagine how much harder it is for lovers who can't use the power of touch to stay connected. Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages for Singles, says, "It's important to figure out how to make your long-distance partner feel cherished. This can be done with words. For example, 'If I were with you, I'd give you a big kiss.'" The relationship expert adds, "Share the day-to-day events going on in each other's lives. This is all geared to staying so close that when you do get together you won't have that awkward transition period where you feel like strangers."
3- Enjoy your independence
Until their wedding in 1999, Casey and Rob Amberg lived in different states; she lived in Arkansas, while he was in Missouri (where they now live together with their 2-year-old daughter). Casey, 29, says their relationship thrived despite the distance, partly because they retained their independence. "Being apart was hard, but it enabled us to continue growing as individuals while still remaining a couple. It was almost an empowering feeling to go out with friends and still feel committed in a relationship."
4- Spice up the long-distance lovin'
Sure, sex is best when you're in the same room, and the happiest LDR couples strive to be together as often as possible. However, there are ways to keep the fires flaming from a distance. Creativity is key. That's why Rob Frankel created www.pillowmail.com, a site where you can instantly compose and e-mail each other erotic fantasies customized with your own dirty details.
5- Keep the faith
Yes, it's rough being apart, but harping on the negative can take a toll on the relationship. Dating coach Masini suggests, "Instead of moaning that you never see each other, talk about the interesting things you've been doing and ask what he's up to." This will help in two ways: He won't think you're obsessed with the relationship, and you won't be obsessed. The happier you act with your life, the happier you'll actually feel.
Shout out to Duncan Hines, who put on a fabulous fashion show and All Black Party at Stir Nightclub on Saturday November 8, we were so honored to be his personal guests! View his personal collection at http://www.carolinapromotor.com/! http://www.stirnc.com/
Be Seen or Be Forgotten
We know how you love to see pictures of yourself online and we do too! Now we have a feature every week on the hottest pictures that we take while we are out being the fashionistas that we are…so DON’T ever get caught out there looking a mess…because we will put you on blast!!
CALLING ALL PROMOTERS!
Don’t you want your party pics to be featured on our blog!!! And let us Blog your event right here? Email us at professionalswagga.com for more information.
If wedding bells are in the air call our sponsers POSH SOCIALITES to bring the creativity as well as staying in your budget. Email us today for quotes.
P.S. Preferred Spots
Friday, November 21, 2008
Fashion Friday at KISS Lounge, 204 W. Woodlawn Road, $10 before 10 pm, cost varies after
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Blue Goose presents Venetian Suites: The Lock and Key Party, Mimosa Grill, 327 S. Tryon Street, $10 in advance, $25 VIP.
P.S. Preferred Spots
Friday, November 21, 2008
Fashion Friday at KISS Lounge, 204 W. Woodlawn Road, $10 before 10 pm, cost varies after
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Blue Goose presents Venetian Suites: The Lock and Key Party, Mimosa Grill, 327 S. Tryon Street, $10 in advance, $25 VIP.
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